Wonkette

Democrat hypocrates! You talk about tolerance, but when a closeted young Republican sexually assaults other men in their sleep, you suddenly oppose gay rights.

I'm normally not one to blame the victim, but if you are a young male and choose to share a bunk with an obscure male Republican during the Cummer of 2007, you deserve whatever happens to you.

In 1st year of University, we were told the saga of this one fellow from another school who kept complaining his ass hurt so he went to the doc and the doc told that he should lay off the anal sex. The kid was surprised as he wasn't gay and then went back to his room to discover that his roommate had a bottle of chloroform. I found out later that it was urban legend...

I wonder if they found a bottle of chloroform in Mr Murphy's luggage.

In his inebriated state, Murphy simply mistook him for a corporate lobbyist. Honest mistake.

Why are all the gay republicans so fugly? Is it because they can't get laid so they try to stop all gay people from getting laid? I'm worried their ugliness and rapiness are giving gay people a bad name. I want to see some more politicians like Jim McGreevey, now that was a nice piece of ass.

Likely defense: the bunk beds reminded the drunk Murphy of his bucolic days as a summer camp counselor, and he re-enacted them.

i'm cornfused. i thought the only reason guys joined the young republicans was so they could have gay sex?

"He was holding my dick with one hand and sucking my dick with his mouth."

That's poor. Anyone worth his salt would not need to hold on.

@ capitol-hillbilly :
does cornfused mean cornholed and confused at the same time? Then you aren't alone, you could join the Young Republicans yourself.

2 things jump out at me... 1. who has bunk beds in their apartment? were they racecar bunkbeds? 2. If Mr. Murphy was doing the sucking, shouldn't he have been sleeping on the bottom rather than the top? This story has holes...

I heard Datline NBC is going to set up outside the Republican National Convention. I hope they have enough tape.

This is my favourite story ever. Well, this week at least. Well, so far this week. Well, as of Wednesday at 10:40.

Let's hope they can keep 'em cumming. Somehow, I don't think we're going to be disappointed.

He was asleep????? I know a blowjob's a blowjob but still... It's nice to know it's going on.

@ Chicago Bureau :
I dunno, I think the best method involves alternating deep throating with just working the head with your mouth while using your hand on the base, but everyone has different tastes, that's why it's important to be observant when you're with someone new. Or you know, rape them.

He deserves to get busted just on the basis of poor form . Etiquette demands that the Republican at least offer to pay $20 for the privilege of sucking him off.

Where were the large black men who frightened him to his knees?

@ Freedumb : that's what i thought. but why is everybody acting surprised about gay sex at a YOUNG REPUBLICAN SLEEPOVER ??? help me out here.

Seriously, can't we (and by "we" I mean the American people) get some sort of restraining order covering all Republican party officials and mandating that they stay at least 500 feet away from our private parts at all times?

i've always wanted a blowjob alarm clock. where do i sign up for this young republican group?

Jesus, did you get a good look at the other members of the Young Republicans? The Assistant Secretary, Dan Tierney, looks like he's just days away from a good child porn case, and the Treasurer looks like a man who's practiced in front of the mirror saying "Your honor, I swear I thought she was of age!" And don't even get me started on Clay Barclay...

@ Eidolon :
Also, the chairman's name is colon.

1. The rouges gallery shown at YRNF site shows that Coulter has planted her 'bot into the YR hierarchy..
On the other hand, Murphy planted his man thing there as well.

2. Another YRNF tubes site gone missing:
[64.233.169.104]
"Florida Governor Charlie Crist swore in new Young Republican National Federation Chairman Glenn Murphy (IN) ...Murphy was elected with a vote of 440-0 delegates at a packed convention center in South Florida."

While I'm glad to see that my great state of Indiana has worked its way from obscure patch of farmland all the way up to front page on Wonkette (in America, you can acomplish anything!), I'm disappointed that we're all still so bothered by the ick factor of gay sex that Murphey is probably the best we have to offer.

Hell, the way our rape statute is written, we can't even charge him with rape because the cock he non-consensually sucked didn't belong to a lady!

@ sluggo : i bet the convention center wasn't the only thing packed at that meeting ...

@ David Flores : Not a chance. This is from Murphy's acceptance speech:
"We look forward to helping Young Republicans across the country recruit new members, educate those members, and deploy for the 2007 and 2008 elections." The YR gay conspiracy in America continues. [64.233.169.104]

@ Eidolon : Um, you somehow missed the fact that their new leader's name is "Jessica Colón."

Can you even imagine what she's going to get arrested for?

I really hope this is not true. If it is, this means that approximately 50% of the nation still buys into the family value and no gay marriage platform DESPITE all of the evidence that these guys are only slightly less twisted than Jeffrey Dahmer.

But I guess if compassionate conservatism means just going around blowing other dudes without expecting anything in return (or even consent) then I can see the allure for some.

@ sluggo : There's his defense! "But officer, I was just recruiting new members!"

As a New York native, I'm proud that my state hasn't contributed a single offer to this collection of young, sexually-repressed, authoritarian proto-fascists.

Oh, and we're sorry about Giuliani.

I was touched my Mr Murphy's genuine effort in coming across as a helpful person of humbleness and humility. To bring comfort and pleasuring to others is an act of noble, even Christian consciousness. Young Republicans just wanna make us feel good.

Please tell me the "victim" found $20 on his chest.

@ Freedumb : I hear Joe Lieberman is observant.

@ Eidolon : Clay Barclay is destined for greatness.

@ sluggo : All he neede do was 440 little favors. Endurance.

The RNC needs to dedicate some of its waning funding to the development of a satisfyingly realistic pseudopenis for their members to purchase and suck in the privacy of their own homes.

The YRs are systematically scrubbing the name of Glenn Murphy from various websites or deleting the sites themselves. E.g.:

News - Rutledge also serves as assistant secretary to the Republican Party of Arkansas and is a ... "Glenn Murphy has proven that he has the leadership ability, ... www.afyr.org/whats_new.html
[en.wikipedia.org]

And the Team Murphy.org site ain't there no more.

But we'll keep your name alive, Glenn, dammit.
"Young Republican, Young Republican,
Glenn wanted the Young Republican"

His resignation letter is hilarious. Can you say TMI?

Okay, besides the fact the guy looks like a 40 year sasquatch, I think the reason that the victim in this case has raised such a stink is because Republicans like to suck, not be sucked. Maybe Glen wasn't going to let him have a turn.

@ jood42 : That'd be a really big line item. I'm not sure how well that'd go over. Just include a 20% off coupon in the "Welcome to the RNC" packet.

But who really got hurt in all this?

The vic's first clue should have been when Murphy suggested he cum in the rear bedroom with him.

As a resident(not a native) of the Hoosier state, one would be hard pressed to find this item in the state's biggest daily newspaper, a paper founded by the Pulliam family into which Dan Quail married.

Ted Haggard, Jim Jones, and now Murphy! Welcome to the Indiana Pantheon of Shameful Behavior.

@ Tin Foil Hat : You've never been scraped by teeth before? Murphy's YR status means that he can't openly talk technique; even after years of practice he's likely still rather unpolished.

@ Tin Foil Hat : You mean besides Republican integrity? Oh, right, I see your point...

Why did they choose for their website a picture of Shrub throwing out a baseball pitch at a Cardinals' game? I thought for sure they'd use the "Mission Accomplished" fighter outfit photo for a bunch of chickenhawks.

Could Murphy, Foley & Allen form their own political party? Just asking.

BY JOOD42 AT 12:16 PM

The RNC needs to dedicate some of its waning funding to the development of a satisfyingly realistic pseudopenis for their members to purchase and suck in the privacy of their own homes.

BY SHELLYB98 AT 12:26 PM

@jood42: That'd be a really big line item. I'm not sure how well that'd go over. Just include a 20% off coupon in the "Welcome to the RNC" packet.

@SHELLYB98: They're Republicans, silly - give them a tax break, not a coupon! Maybe bundle it with that Hummer tax break...

Those fascists at Google have updated their cached version of the page, so Murphy no longer shows up, but luckily, the left-wing instrument that is archive.org has a pristine copy . For what it's worth, I guess.

@ David Flores : We can't legislate abstinence for these poor repressed souls. We need some kind of felatio maintenance program. Perhaps a clinic staffed with George Michael clones. Totally confidential.

Hey, you're being way too kind to El Commandante Date Rape. His current picture is menos muy guapo, mas - como se dice - John Wayne Gacy.

Just to properly communicate the abject horror the poor penis-raped-by-chubby-older-guy felt.

Because waking out of a drunken stuper to find a total hottie choking on your raging man-root seems - call me shallow - somehow less of a crime.

*blush * stupor *blush*

Can I blame it on Wonkette's commenting software? Just this once?

Funny how the victim and his sister kept having meetings with Murphy and his attorney afterward to figure out what Murphy's intent was.

I'm guessing Chicago Bureau was right that Glenn doesn't have much skill in this area.

It is Mr. Murphy's position, according to his lawyer, that "what occurred, occurred between two consenting adults," one of whom just happened to be asleep at the time.

Wonkette, how can you be so cynical? As we head into the end of Endless Cummer, I would think it would be clear that if you fall into a drunken stupor near anyone in the Republican leadership, you have basically given consent.

@ meelar :

So, there is Gay recruitment, but it is just to recruit people into the GOP? Pat Robertson is going to be floored (and then, judging by current behavior, sucked off by a Young Republican.)

@ homofascist : TMI indeed. And do you really think he's talking about the decision to quit as prez here...or what came before it?

(insert gut-wrenching dilemma here)....I spent the majority of my weekend shaking with anxious indecision.

But isn't this the kind of unilateral decision making that Republicans look for in their leadership?

@ jtool66 : You just need a 2-fer "Hummer and a hummer" tax break.

I'm waiting to see if the Republican party will open up a special rehab facility for all these poor misunderstood boys.....I figure Murphy is going to announce he's "getting help" within the next few days.

On a side note, because I still am having difficulty with the concept, can that $20 be expensed back to the Republican party, or if not at least deducted from the fellow's taxes. Does the closeted Republican official need to get a receipt?

@ sluggo : The Homintern

I just have one question here, "why is my cock hard right now?" Can someone answer that one? Huh, anyone? Anyone?

Damn, turns out I have 4 questions.

I am an openly gay man with a partner of nearly 16 years. I met Glenn Murphy in 2004 when I worked at the polls. Apparently, I was still registered as a Republican. That was before I realized that "Gay Republican" was on oxymoron. As Glenn spoke to our group of GOP pollworkers, my gaydar immediately sounded off. While he oozed his conservative views, my mind was thinking "I bet this guy will get busted at one of those public park/restroom raids one day!" I told my partner about Glenn and what I was thinking. We both predicted that he would be "outed" one day and forced to resign. That day happened sooner than I thought!

G rand
O ld
P ervs

the YR site doesn't seem to be cached anymore...smells of Dick Cheney's handy-work. We all knows he really controls google and the "street view" secret spy program.

@ Lyndon-La-Douche :

Thanks, but a bit too bolshey. While they might enjoy playing the oral version of "hide the salami", our lads remain GOP thru and thru.

How about "The Homocan Party"?

@ Freedumb : I dunno, I think the best method involves...

So, are you doing anything Saturday night?

@ hotsauce :
This Saturday night
Deep throat shaft, work head, hold base
Freedumb gets Hotsauce

OH, my God, I just love Republicans! They can almost always be counted on to shoot themselves in the penis... I mean, foot, every time.

But there won't be any Republicans left to run!

Calm down now Karl, this is all just a temporary setback. How about you go do that false flag thing we spoke about... (Kicking Karl in the butt). So there won't be no election idiot!

Oh yeah, yeah, that's right.

I swear, they call me the big Dick but if the Nation only knew what I, the most powerful veep in history had to put up with. Sheesch!

@ jboston : "GOP pollworker" = "(Closeted) Gay Republican"?

Another one bites the ... dick.

Uhmmmm ... I'd hit it.

The unidentified African-American victim stated he was awakened by Mr. Murphy muttering, "Is it twoo what they say about you people? Oooh... YES, it's TWOO, it's TWOO!

J -

If that was the case, the only thing that Murphy would be capable of saying is, "Mmmmf mmmmf (gag) MMMMMF!"

Glenn Murphy abruptly left his fraternity at Indiana University in the late 90's after it was discovered he was acting as official house blow job alarm clock.

Is this the SAME Glenn Murphy who was recently named CEO of the GAP?
If so, maybe they could run a special CEO sale: Young mens pants HALF OFF!

From the lead photo, George Bush appears to be a pitcher. But I'd always pegged him as a catcher.

@ MizLiz :
Well, it has worked [so far] for the Catholic church. Sort of.
Ahem.
There once was a political party called the 'Know Nothings.' That was YEARS before George W Bush & Co. squatted @ 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Maybe the 'Family Values Republicans' should change the name of their party to the Gay Hating Wanna Blow someone party. Also known as the GHWBs.

"OH, my God, I just love Republicans! They can almost always be counted on to shoot themselves in the penis... I mean, foot, every time."
I really don't want to think about these guys shooting.